When Barry’s wife Marina became ill, he turned to Farleigh Hospice for help. He explains how the charity’s teams worked together to provide care and support as their needs changed, enabling him to continue looking after her at home.
“I met Marina at a New Year’s Eve party at the end of 1984. She was dynamic, sociable and very active, cramming a lot into life. We got married and had two daughters and she was a proud nanna to our grandsons.
We lived in the same house in Chelmsford for over 30 years. I had retired from a job in contact centre design and Marina had worked as the Head Midday Assistant at the Cathedral School. She was involved in everything from the Parent Teacher Association and charity fundraising to organising a school reunion for her old classmates.”
“I first noticed that something was wrong in January 2021. Marina, who was 62, appeared grumpy – which was out of character – and she began to have trouble speaking and sending texts. Our GP checked her blood and hormones which were fine so we were referred to Broomfield Hospital for more tests.
On 10th February, we were told that Marina had a Glioblastoma cancerous tumour in the part of her brain that managed speech processing and the prognosis wasn’t good.”
Marina began treatment to try to slow the spread of the tumour, but her speech worsened and the tumour started to affect her mobility. Barry knew they needed support.
“I already knew a bit about the support that Farleigh Hospice provides. I wanted Marina to live as much of the rest of her life as she could, so I decided to give them a call.”
Farleigh’s team quickly became involved, supporting Marina with physiotherapy, symptom management and practical advice at home.
“We were given practical advice too. One of the medicines Marina had to take – which reduced the pressure on her brain to stop her fitting – affected her skin, making it easily damaged and sore. Farleigh had an adjustable bed so Sally set it at the height of our bed at home and showed me the best way to help Marina in and out of it, without making it worse, so I felt more confident.”
Farleigh also coordinated wider support, including speech therapy, equipment and help with practical matters.
“The great aspect about Farleigh is that it offers a wide range of support in a co-ordinated way… It was a relief to get this much help so quickly and easily.
Everyone we spoke to at Farleigh was very supportive and understood what was going on, so we didn’t have to explain ourselves each time. We felt that they knew us as individuals which was reassuring without a doubt.”
Marina died at home on New Year’s Day, surrounded by her family.
“Farleigh’s carers came to our home and washed and dressed Marina so she looked like she was sleeping peacefully before she was taken by the undertakers.”
Barry continues to reflect on the support they received.
“It would have been a lot harder to care for Marina throughout her illness without Farleigh Hospice’s support and advice – they were absolutely brilliant. I knew that when I phoned, help would be there when she needed it, so I didn’t have to go out and find it myself. This care and support gave me the confidence to continue looking after Marina and make the best life for her as her health got worse. Farleigh will always be in my heart because of everything they did for us.”
Farleigh is here to help you.
“I would advise anyone in a similar situation not to try to manage things on your own. People often think of hospice care as a one way trip to end of life but Farleigh Hospice offers so much more than that. It’s not just a job for the people who work there – you can tell them everything and they have a genuine interest and really care. Call Farleigh early, have that conversation and take the help that’s on offer.”
Supporting care like Marina and Barry’s
We rely on the generous support of our community to provide care like this for people such as Marina and Barry.
If you would like to support more families in the same way, you can donate or fundraise for us.