There are several reasons why we find talking about death and dying difficult. It could be fear of saying the wrong thing, or of hurting someone’s feelings. This Dying Matters Awareness Week we want to start these conversations.
For Jacqui, a Partnerships Officer in our fundraising team, these conversations are second nature. Growing up in a household where death was discussed openly, Jacqui learned early on that sharing your final wishes isn’t morbid – it’s practical. Today, she maintains that same transparency with her husband and 21-year-old son.
“For me, it’s about removing the pressure. When the time comes, I don’t want my family guessing what music I want or what people should wear. It’s about preparing for the inevitable so they can just press ‘go’ without the burden of uncertainty.”
Jacqui’s preparation goes beyond logistics; she even wants to film her own eulogy! “I like to have the last word,” she says. “I want people to laugh and have those ‘I can’t believe she did that’ moments. That’s how I want to be remembered.”
Jacqui believes that our societal hesitation to discuss death creates a ripple effect of awkwardness and isolation. She highlights several key benefits to opening up:
- Reducing social awkwardness: When we don’t talk about death, we often avoid people who are grieving because we don’t know what to say.
- Aiding the grieving process: I feel bottling up the topic can make it harder to process grief or speak freely about a loved one after they’ve died.
- Replacing mystery with peace: Clear plans take away the “fear and mystery” of the unknown.
These conversations are already impacting the next generation. After overhearing Jacqui and her husband discussing updating their Wills, her 21-year-old son was prompted to start thinking about his own.
“Making sure things happen the way they should takes away the fear,” Jacqui explains.
“While I likely won’t be the one attending his funeral, it’s important that he feels empowered to tell me, ‘This is what I want,’ if the worst were to ever happen.”
Planning ahead takes away the fear. Click here for information on how our teams can support you.