This Dying Matters Awareness Week (May 4–10, 2026), communities across the UK are coming together to break the stigma surrounding death and grief. For one family in Essex, the campaign isn’t just an annual event – it is a lived reality after losing two of their closest members within just four months.
They experienced two devastating losses in quick succession: the sudden death of their son/brother in October 2025 and the passing of their mother in February 2026. While the circumstances were vastly different, both events reshaped their perspective on what it means to say goodbye.
Alfie’s story
The first tragedy struck when Alfie, aged just 25, passed away unexpectedly from a cardiac arrest.
Alfie was described as a kind and caring person with a vivid imagination and a joyful laugh. Because of his young age, he died without a will or funeral plans. His family relied on the things he loved to honour him, playing Jessie J and Ariana Grande at his services and even having a candyfloss machine at the wake to capture his vibrant spirit.
Lisa’s journey
In contrast, their mother lived with metastatic kidney cancer for 15 months, after being diagnosed in November 2024 when she was 57. She began palliative chemotherapy on Christmas Eve. Her illness required a total life adjustment for the whole family; her daughter even moved back to Essex to be by her side.
Despite the gruelling treatment, the family focused on ‘beautiful times’, while she found peace in jigsaws, crosswords, and sitting in the garden.
Finding comfort in ‘the unknown’
Initially, the family found it too overwhelming to discuss death. However, as her health deteriorated, they began to have ‘calm conversations.
“What I found the scariest was the unknown – how long we’d have left with her, what each symptom meant and what I could do to help her.”
In February 2026, she entered Farleigh’s Inpatient Unit for symptom management. The family said that she felt settled in her ‘lovely hospice room’, enjoying the birds and squirrels outside while being ‘showered with love’ by a constant stream of visitors. The support of Farleigh (by the hospice at home team and as an inpatient) gave Lisa confidence and comfort. It empowered Daisy, her dad, her brother and her sister to ask important questions, and allowed them to enjoy precious family time with Lisa that they will ‘cherish forever’.
A creative legacy
Before she died, she spoke frankly about her final wishes which were:
- Requesting to be cremated
- Asking her daughter Daisy to write her eulogy.
- As a painter, she wanted her loved ones to enjoy pieces of her art.
- Her final instructions were simple: to live their lives, find the positive in every day, and look after each other.
Continuing the support
The family is now dedicated to fundraising for Farleigh. Lisa’s son, Louie, is holding an exhibition of her art in Tollesbury from May 20, selling prints to raise money for Farleigh. Loved ones are also participating in the Walk for Life on Sunday 10 May, where they also aim to raise as much as possible as a thank you.
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For more information about Hospice UK’s campaign about Dying Matters, click here.
Experiencing so much loss in my close family has changed my perspective on death. Whereas before I would’ve avoided speaking about it, I now have a much more matter-of-fact approach. The one thing that everyone in the world has in common is that we’ll all die, and we’ll all lose people. It’s by accepting death that we can make the most of our lives, accepting the pain and the joy as a package deal.Lisa's daughter, Daisy