“My parents, Eric and Mary, lived in Chappel, between Halstead and Colchester, since the 1940s. Dad always worked hard to support Mum, me and my four siblings, Malcolm, Alison, Erica and Adrian.
He worked for the council’s highways department, maintaining the A12 and gritting the roads. As he got older, he kept active on his allotment and mowing neighbours’ lawns and he had a collection of engines that he took to many local rallies. After Mum died of cancer in 2003, Dad also learnt how to cook and look after their home on his own.
He was quite fit and healthy, so he was shocked to be diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2023 when he was 85. He was given medication and regular injections to help control his symptoms, which included needing to urinate more often. After a while, his PSA (prostate specific antigen) level went up and a scan showed that the cancer had unfortunately spread to his lungs and bones.
Dad got a mobility scooter but the problems with his prostate meant he couldn’t be far from a toilet. His mobility deteriorated and he eventually became isolated at home. This was difficult for him as he was very independent.
He’d never needed to ask me and my siblings for any help before.
We saw him regularly and arranged for carers to visit to make his meals, when it became too painful for him to stand for long.
Dad was spending more time in bed and also needed help with washing and getting dressed. Farleigh Hospice had just begun providing hospice care across the Colne Valley, so my sister asked if they could help us look after him.
Farleigh assessed his needs and then the hospice’s carers visited him twice a day to provide personal care.
My siblings and I all work, some of us doing shifts, so we could see Dad at different times. Knowing that he was also being looked after by Farleigh really took a weight off of everybody’s shoulders because he was getting the excellent care and support that he needed.
Dad enjoyed these visits as the carers would make him comfortable and have a joke and a chat with him.
Farleigh Hospice’s care also gave Dad and us siblings some precious time together as our father again, as all of our time wasn’t spent just looking after him but spending those special last few weeks enjoying stories of old.
After about four weeks, Dad had a couple of falls. He managed to phone my brother the first time, then slipped out of bed again the next day and was found by Farleigh’s carers.
He was exhausted and we were worried that he wouldn’t be able to call for help if it happened again. Farleigh came to reassess him and agreed that he needed full-time care.
By the next day, Farleigh had found him a place at a local nursing home in Halstead – close to where I live – and arranged his move there. My family were very grateful to Farleigh’s rapid access service for organising this transfer so quickly.
It was reassuring that Dad was safe and pain-free at the nursing home, receiving 24-hour care. Over the next four days, he slept more and stopped eating, before he passed away on 24 February 2025, aged 87.
Farleigh Hospice’s care made the last month of Dad’s life much nicer. It’s a local charity that doesn’t charge for any of its services, which is phenomenal, so I’m fundraising for Farleigh to give something back.
I’m taking part in the Santa Fun Run and Colchester Half Marathon with my running group, the Halstead Rockets, and then I’m doing the London Marathon in April. We hope to raise £5,000.
I can’t put into words the feeling of relief that Dad was getting excellent care when he needed it and I just want to say thank you.”
If you would like to take part in an event in aid of Farleigh, visit our events page HERE
This article is taken from The Lantern 115