Daryl and Ian
“I am so grateful to the team at Farleigh Hospice for the care that they gave to my wife, Daryl. They were there for me when I needed them, they were amazing.
Daryl and I got married in 1980 and our daughter, Alice, was born a few years later. We originally lived in Yorkshire but moved to Coggeshall in Essex in 1986. Daryl and I loved to travel and she was a fantastic cook but our real passion was our Otterhound dogs!
Daryl was a very caring and determined person: if she was doing something, she would do it properly. She got a job in local government, working in housing and homelessness, and set up the Braintree Women’s Aid, Braintree Women’s Refuge and a mother and baby unit for teenagers, helping many people in dire straits.
In 2017, Daryl had a mammogram and then a biopsy which revealed that she had breast cancer. She had an operation followed by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. When she was given the all clear, it was such a relief. Life got back to normal but then, in May 2021, a routine mammogram showed that the cancer had returned. Daryl had both breasts removed in a bilateral mastectomy and then had another operation to remove part of her liver, leaving her feeling quite frail. She was then given immunotherapy but didn’t take to it well and continued on a lower dose.
She had another regular scan in November 2022 and we were given the heart-breaking news that the cancer had spread and was now untreatable. We were told in December that Daryl only had weeks or maybe months left.
Her health went downhill after Christmas and she was unconscious, so her doctor contacted Farleigh Hospice. They contacted me the next day and one of Farleigh’s nurses came to visit. She was wonderful, very caring and considerate. She explained the care that they could provide and arranged for the hospice at home team to visit to help Alice and I look after Daryl. She also gave me the contact number for Farleigh’s clinical advice line, so we could call and talk to a nurse practitioner if we needed help.
Farleigh organised a hospital-type bed for Daryl which was installed in our house within a few days. They also organised her medicine, speaking to the doctor and arranging for it to be ready for us to collect from the pharmacy or be delivered to our home. It was fantastic to have that level of support.
Daryl and Alice
Daryl regained consciousness and, for a while, she was able to get up and sit in the living room. Being fiercely independent and proud, she was reluctant for friends to see her, but it was different with Farleigh, as they were so caring and respected her dignity. She readily accepted their help with her personal care and I could hear them laughing together! She looked forward to their visits and insisted that I left out bottles of water and cereal bars for them.
Farleigh also supported me and Alice, nothing was too much trouble. They took away my worries so I was able to go out when I needed to, feeling confident that Farleigh was there with her so she would be okay. When Daryl had a fall, someone from Farleigh was there in 20 minutes. As her health deteriorated, the hospice at home team visited three times a day. Because I could trust them to look after her care, I was able to focus on spending important time with her.
Near the end of her life, Daryl had a fixed look on her face. But in her final hours, her expression changed and she was smiling, so we could see that she was at peace. She died at home, where she wanted to be, on 22 February 2023, aged 71.
It would have been impossible for us to have cared for Daryl without Farleigh Hospice. They held everything together and were always there when we needed them. They gave my wife dignity at the end of her life and she would not have been able to die at home without their amazing care and support. I will always be very grateful.
If anyone is in a similar situation, I would tell them to trust in Farleigh Hospice completely. Every nurse and carer that I met was incredible and they provide first class care, it’s exemplary, priceless. I cannot praise Farleigh highly enough.”
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