COVID-19 and Bereavement – the impact

Here at Farleigh, we have been determined to continue to deliver our services to people in need of end of life care and bereavement support and have changed our way of working in order to do this. In March 2020, we made the difficult decision to move all of our services to in-home and virtual care. This enabled us to continue to deliver the same level of support for our patients and their families in a COVID-safe way.


This change in service delivery meant that our in-patient unit (IPU) service had to change to a home-based care system. This was an adjustment for the patients and their families but was absolutely necessary to minimise the spread of infection. Here we hear from one of these families who would like to share how the pandemic affected them.

For the Glew family, COVID-19 struck at an incredibly difficult time. As the country began to battle with this deadly virus, Andy Glew, his wife and children were fighting their own battle with his life-limiting illness. As the country went into its first lockdown, Andy was being cared for by Farleigh and was one of the patients whose care was moved to our virtual ward care model.

Andy was diagnosed with Glioblastoma, a rare form of brain cancer, in July 2019 and was given four months to live. Soon after his diagnosis, they were referred to Farleigh via Queen’s Hospital in Romford. Andy was provided with a Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS) who came to the house regularly and offered support and advice on all elements of Andy’s care. Andy also utilised the services of the day centre which, after being reluctant to try at first, he thoroughly enjoyed. The day service gave his wife Sarah the opportunity to devote some time to running the business that the couple started together, knowing that he was in the capable hands of the hospice team.

The family also benefited from the counselling support offered by Farleigh. Sarah often had a counselling session in the hospice while Andy was using the day services. This support, she says helped her come to terms with Andy’s illness and provided useful coping mechanisms during such a difficult time.

With treatment, Andy lived beyond the initial timeframe predicted by his doctors. But in December 2019 his condition deteriorated and he lost his speech. In early January 2020, Andy stayed in hospice IPU for two weeks. Of this time Sarah says: “the fact that I could stay overnight was a real godsend because it meant I could still be with him.” He returned home for a few weeks but then returned to the IPU at the end of February.

The timing of Andy’s return to hospice care was just as the pandemic began to take hold. As a precaution, Andy was sent home to protect him from COVID-19 infection. He received daily at-home care from the Farleigh nursing team. Sadly Andy passed away just after the UK entered its first lockdown in March 2020. As he was receiving home care, Sarah could be with him in his last moments for which she will ever be grateful.

On the impact COVID-19 had on this difficult time in their lives, Sarah says: “I’m angry with COVID-19 for so many reasons, as most people are. But despite the limitations it has put on us, the support we received from Farleigh didn’t suffer at all. They did a fantastic job of adapting their services to the circumstances and ensured we had the care and support that we needed. I’m mainly cross with COVID for the fact that it meant we couldn’t have the funeral we had planned. And also because my family has had to experience this difficult time in our lives living under such restrictions, not being able to see friends and family.”


Shortly after Andy’s passing, Sarah was referred to Farleigh’s Circle Adult Bereavement Support service. Due to the pandemic, face-to-face services were replaced with telephone and Zoom counselling sessions. Sarah had weekly counselling in this way for 12 weeks, finishing the course recently.


Sarah says: “The course helped me accept the loss we had suffered and helped me to grieve rather than bottling everything up, trying to be strong for the children. The first zoom session was strange, I felt a bit self-conscious at first, but after that first one, I got used to it. The benefit of the virtual counselling for me was that I didn’t have to travel to the hospice, which meant I could fit it into my week more easily. I did my sessions in my work breaks, sometimes doing the session from my car in the car park. When you’re a mum of three and work full time, the car can often be the only place you have some privacy and quiet time! Having previously had face-to-face counselling at Farleigh, I don’t feel that COVID-19 had a detrimental effect on the quality of the counselling I received, it just meant it had to be delivered in a different way.”


Sarah goes on to say: “To anyone who is reluctant about undertaking virtual counselling services, I’d say, put your reservations aside and try it. You do feel self-conscious at first being on the phone or on video rather than in a room with the therapist, but you soon get used to it. The benefits far outweigh the initial awkwardness. It’s vital that you talk to someone independently when you have suffered a bereavement. Counselling provides a safe space for you to open up and speak freely and this is the same whether it’s by phone, video or face to face. It’s often hard to open up when you have suffered a loss as you feel you have to keep strong and carry on, but a trained counsellor can guide you through this process and help you deal with your grief. I honestly wouldn’t be handling things as well as I am now without the support that Farleigh’s bereavement counselling has provided.”


Sarah’s 16-year-old daughter Hannah also received support from the hospice’s Yo-Yo service for children and young people. This service has also switched to virtual sessions due to COVID-19 but Sarah said that this was not an issue for her tech-savvy daughter. She was completely comfortable with the video sessions and she found them very beneficial.


The family has since gone on to raise over £10,000 via the ‘MuchLoved’ tribute website as well as through a Farleigh Hospice living tribute which Andy set up with the Farleigh Fundraising Team in the last few weeks of his life.

Of course, change can be unsettling and we understand that for some patients, this move to virtual services can be daunting. Below we hope we can alleviate some of these concerns by addressing some of the questions you may have:


I won’t get the same benefit from virtual counselling as face-to-face sessions
While it may seem different at first, we promise the benefits you receive will be the same. The counselling offered is no different from our in-person therapy, all that has changed is the delivery method.


I will feel silly opening up on a video call
As Sarah Glew said in her case study, you may well feel uncomfortable at first, but we can assure you this will be short-lived. After one session you will feel more comfortable with it. Plus if you’d rather not do a video session, we can do a telephone session instead.


It’s not as private
We recommend you choose a comfortable, quiet space where you will have complete privacy to undertake your sessions. Ensure you will not be disturbed or overheard and it will be just as private as if you were with us in the hospice.


The counselling isn’t the same
Our counselling style and techniques haven’t changed. All that has changed is how we undertake your sessions and this is to keep you as safe as possible during this exceptional time.


I won’t have the same counsellor
Your counsellor will remain the same, we want you to feel as comfortable as possible and are doing everything we can to ensure the consistency of our services.


Both Circle and Yo-Yo bereavement support services are still operating throughout the pandemic. But we have switched our offering to virtual support providing telephone and Zoom sessions during office hours 9 am to 5 pm, Monday to Friday. Immediate support is also still available online via Grief Chat.

For more information please contact us on 01245 457308 or visit our website here