Family thanks Farleigh for making it possible for grandmother to spend her last days at home

Having lived in the same house for 55 years, the house had always represented a safe and secure place for the whole family to gather and when she was diagnosed with dementia in 2011, Mary felt very strongly that now matter how her illness progressed, she wanted to remain at home.

When Mary’s dementia worsened, the family faced a difficult choice regarding her care. They wanted her to remain in her own home, but her needs were so complex that it was being recommended that she should go into residential care.

When the family were first told she was end of life, they thought that keeping her at home at that point was unrealistic. But, with Farleigh’s support Mary was able to spend the last stages of her life at home as she had wished. Giving her and her family the two main things that they wanted; for Mary to remain at home and not be in any pain.

Mary’s granddaughter, Amie says: “Farleigh Hospice made us feel confident and reassured. Even though we run a care agency, when it it’s happening to you and you are emotionally involved you need someone there offering you advice. We wouldn’t have received the expertise that Farleigh Hospice offered us anywhere else.

“I really feel that as soon as Farleigh Hospice became involved, the level of care surpassed anything we had experienced with nan’s current agency and it was a huge relief to know that she could have her wish of staying at home.

“Without Farleigh we wouldn’t have been able to give nan her wish of staying at home. We knew it was the one thing she would’ve wanted and we didn’t think we’d be able to give her that because of her complex care needs. Farleigh made it possible for us and we’re so grateful for that. They really did give us, and nan, the wish that almost seemed impossible.”

“We were able to visit nan to be with her and not worry about the care side of things, because we knew that the hospice at home team had it in hand. Nan’s dementia caused her to be pretty non-communicative and it was hard to get any emotion out of her, but with the hospice at home team, she seemed to improve. She’d smile at them and one of her nurses told us that when she went to turn her over, nan gave her a hug. The Farleigh team really took the time to get the best out of her, spending time with her and making her a priority. You could really see an improvement in how she interacted with us.

“A couple of times we went in just after the hospice at home team had been in and she was clearly trying to smile at us and interact with us, which is obviously a result of where they had spent time encouraging her to communicate and giving her that stimulation ahead of our visit.”

As things developed further, and Mary’s health deteriorated, Farleigh Hospice advised the family to increase the level of night time care. Farleigh introduced the family to Marie Curie which added another layer of support to cover this need. This enabled the family to focus on spending time with Mary and making her last weeks comfortable rather than having the added worry of managing night care.

Mary passed away peacefully, in the home she loved surrounded by her family which was exactly what she had wanted. Amie says: “We can’t thank Farleigh Hospice enough for making it possible for nan to be at home in the last stages of her life and for the quality of life she had as a result of the great care she received. It sounds silly, but within that last period of time it was like she had a better quality of life than she’d had in a while. She was smiling and interacting and that’s all thanks to the Farleigh nurses. They took the time to get to know her even though it was virtually impossible because of the stage that she was at with her dementia, they still put that effort in and she really benefitted from that. We couldn’t have asked for any more really.

“For us the Farleigh Hospice team were a different level in terms of competence to her regular careers and they gave us the confidence that they could handle nans complex dementia needs. Even after nan passed away they were there for us. We had a phone call signposting us to their bereavement services. It is difficult to put into words, but the services Farleigh offers are just fantastic and we’re very grateful as a family that they were there supporting us throughout nans end of life journey.”

Mike Riglin Nursing works alongside Farleigh Hospice in the mid Essex community supporting end of life patients. Amie Riglin recently shared her experience of the hospice at home care at the Farleigh Hospice board meeting to demonstrate the real difference that the hospice at home team make to both patients and families.

Farleigh Hospice has been supporting people living with any life-limiting illness or bereavement free of charge to anyone within the mid Essex community for nearly 40 years. Providing care to suit individual needs, including clinical, spiritual, social and psychological support along with practical and emotional support to family members, carers and anyone affected by their diagnosis. This care includes specialist palliative care nursing both in our inpatient unit and in patient’s own homes.

For more information visit www.farleighhospice.org/advice-support